Fun LASIK Facts

The Lost Glasses – Jurassic Park

“My glasses! I can’t see without my glasses!” We’ve all heard it and have witnessed several TV and film characters fast demise as the result of losing their glasses or having them crushed underfoot. As if these situations aren’t tense and anxiety ridden enough, the Directors like to pour gasoline on the fire and tap into some of our vision impaired friend’s worst nightmares!

Outside of reviewing the benefits of Laser Vision Correction, the team at Laser Eye Institute likes to discuss “what if” moments in pop culture. This led us to dedicate an article to Dennis Nedry, the buffoon that changed the course of the entire Jurassic Park series. So let’s take a trip back to Jurassic Park and see how things might have been – had Dennis had LASIK!

Jurassic Park (1993) Universal Pictures

From 1993 to now to 2021 (next Jurassic Park movie) the Jurassic Park series has captured the world’s attention. Directed by Steven Spielberg, the first Jurassic Park film revolutionized cinema and brought extinct dinosaurs to life. Now as we take a step down memory lane, I’d like to point out a pivotal moment that could have changed the trajectory of the entire Jurassic Park series.

Meet Dennis Nedry

We all remember “Dennis”, the obnoxious computer programmer that was an unorganized, sloppy mess degenerate. His master plan was to shut down the “system”, steal several dinosaur embryos, place them into a shaving cream dispenser, and sneak off the island during a looming tropical storm. Spoiler alert! Dennis didn’t make it off the island (or help Samuel L’s smoking problem for that matter). In fact, his reckless driving caused him to swerve off the road and smash into a road sign; a sign that pointed in what direction he had to go to reach safety! .

Don't be like Dennis

Enter Dilophosaurs

The tropical storm is no longer looming and Dennis has trouble on his hands. His Jeep is stuck, he is lost, and he clumsily falls down the waterfall, losing his glasses. “My glasses… [getting up]… I can afford more glasses”(too bad LASIK wasn’t available in the U.S. yet!)

As he makes an effort to work through his shortfalls, with that cherry on top being “lousy vision”, he is about to meet Dilophosaurs, a “cute” dog like dinosaur that Dennis refers to as a “nice boy”. As we continue let’s call him “Dilo” for short. After Dennis tries to play fetch with him, he gets fed up and threatens Dilo that he’s going to run him over when he gets down. Boy, does he wish this was the case because this is not the way the story unfolds.

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“Lost glasses” The pivotal moment

The time has come. As Dennis makes his way up the stormy jungle terrain, he gets a friendly reminder that Dilo still wants to play. As a winded Dennis turns, he is greeted with a screeching awnry Dilo that peacocks black tar all over his face. Now, I have two theories here:

  1. If Dennis didn’t lose his glasses, the first blow of black tar to his face would have been shielded by his glasses, enabling him to see “better” and not hit his head on the Jeep door causing him to preserve the dinosaur embryos (and not fall out of his pocket down into the muck). Also, by not smacking his head on the Jeep doorway, Dilo wouldn’t have her (all dinosaurs on the island are female, right?) window of time to get into the Jeep, and ultimately eat her tasty treat
  2. This theory is more far-fetched, but I believe that if he didn’t lose his glasses (or need glasses in the first place) he would have been operating at a higher level and been faster in securing the wire around the tree and getting to safety. Given he couldn’t see well, he had to move slower, giving Dilo more time to plan her attack

“Lost glasses” Final thoughts

What if Dennis gets away and is able to get off the island? Dinosaurs would no longer be exclusive to Jurassic Park and Dennis is a very rich man. How does this story transcend after that? There is no more “Lost World” or going back to the park. If those embryos get off the island, do dinosaurs finally rule the world? Share your thoughts in the comments section!

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David Lemieux, BA from Oakland University is a LASIK expert and marketing professional that has worked with Dr. Dan Haddad and the Laser Eye Institute since 2017. David believes in education and cutting through the noise to deliver facts and opinions about LASIK, SMILE, and all things Laser Vision Correction.